Saturday, April 04, 2015

am i autistic

What is Autism?

I have been interested in this topic more than ten years ago and till now, I know nothing much about it.  Although I did scratched the surface by googling about it, browsing through books in local bookstores, and having a niece who is autistic.

At times, I see her struggles with keeping calm and controlling her emotions... and I think to myself, it is a mental illness...  L has it too? sometimes I think L is stupid, L thinks abnormally, L is crazy?  at times I think, many years back, when people are less informed and exposed about autism, many would have been labelled mad, and get madder...

to be honest, aren't I autistic too? High functioning one maybe.  Many times I just shoot off my mouth, am socially inept, do the wrong things... and have troubles making new friends or keeping them.

Infact, I was not that interested in making friends when I was young.  And to be honest, find it difficult to make new ones when I wanted to.

I don't know what to say to make them want to talk to me more or hang out with me more.  And I don't know how to pretend.  


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